Maesie, happy times and surviving

I hope Maesie makes it to the end of this treatment fiasco. She no longer wants to sleepover at Grandma's, even if Dave and I are there too. She's not keen on staying anywhere - she just likes her own house and her own bunk, apparently. It made me a little upset tonight when she kicked up a fuss about staying at Grandma's. She doesn't quite understand it all, but she does know I haven't been well and she's seen me wonky and she knows she's had to go to Grandma's because I needed to rest and couldn't look after her. I'm sure she worries about it but doesn't know how to talk about it and express what's going on in her head. Hopefully after the next six weeks things can get back to normal and Maesie can just kick up a fuss due to random reasons like a normal four year old.

We've had a good Easter weekend. A nice balance of time at home and time with both sides of the family. Plus a bonus dinner with some friends which was a fun time. Good food, not too much chocolate, some laughs. Happy times, my Grandpa would have said.

For the last few days I have been feeling very nearly back to my old self. I have been getting all sorts of things done and haven't been feeling too weak or tired. I hope I don't have too many low days during this coming round. I have been starting to think more about life beyond the next six weeks. I am cautious though, because I'm not convinced it'll all be gone. I suppose I'll go back to work, get to the gym more, make plans for a holiday, set some goals. I don't really know. It's weird. I've read a little bit of stuff and seen some books about 'cancer survivors' and part of me thinks it's not such a big deal. You've been sick, you had treatment, you're okay now, get over it. Other people have different diseases they get treatment for and get better and they don't have 'survivorship issues'. But part of me does think there may be some truth in it because for a few reasons, this has changed me - not massively, but in small ways - and I do have things to process and deal with because of the events of the past six months.