My day started early today. I got up at 5:30 am and left the house at 5:45 to drive to Adelaide Uni to line up at Venuetix to try and get tickets to the Powderfinger concert. I haven't been up that early for a long time. Prior to children, I used to get up around that time quite regularly and go for a little run before catching the 7 am train to work. That was a while ago now, a lifetime ago it seems. I do like the early morning though, it's like it has a sense of mystery and adventure. Like when you get up early to go fishing or to leave for a holiday. Isn't that the time when the BFG goes around blowing dreams? Most people are still asleep and it feels sneaky to be up and doing something. I remember one time my aunt and uncle picked me up early when I was a youngster - maybe I was 4 or 5? - and they took me to Renmark. We left early and it felt like a big adventure. It probably wasn't that early really, but I was little. I also suspect that people who have to get up early and do things at that time on a regular basis probably don't get quite a kick out of it. I know for sure that if a day with the youngsters starts that early there's no sense of adventure...
Anyway, I drove myself safely to the uni and got into the Union building and was the second in line. I waited my 2.5 hours and left with four tickets. I am very glad to have them and for it not to have been too stressful this morning. On the way home I stopped at a North Adelaide cafe to use the latrine and get a hot drink. A medium chai latte. How much they asking? $4.60. Tell 'em they're dreaming. Well, I wish I did. Half my cup was fluff. I shan't return. Maybe she charged me extra because I used the toilet.
After that I went to one of my favourite fruit and veg shops, on Prospect Road, and purchased some fresh deliciousness. Further on my journey home I bought Dave 10kg of flour from Mitani Bros so he can keep making pasta.
The rest of the day was spent at home and we were all here. Elsie was grizzly and annoying - I think some teeth are on the way. Maesie was pretty good but I did have to tell one story featuring the new Mermaidia barbie. A nasty witch had stolen her voice and the Prince had to find the voice and free her. That was not my choice of plot, by the way.
This evening Dave took a lounge around to a friend's place and then she came for dinner. It was a pleasant time together. I have been seeing quite a few friends and having people over and catching up and I think I will try and continue to do so once this lymphoma business is resolved. I have enjoyed seeing more people and making the effort to have people visit and go and see them. I have not been the greatest at organising times to catch up with friends but I am getting better and I think it has been and will continue to be important to keep developing relationships with others. I'm not too sure how to go about it all, but i'll give it a go. It has been easier while I've had more time on my hands, just hanging about waiting for my next appointment. It'll be tricky when I feel up to filling that time with other activities.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I feel better with my watch
I had been without a watch for a little while because the band broke. I was going okay without a time piece, better than I would have a couple of years ago. I usually check my watch a lot and would have the other morning when I was getting a blood test, knowing that I would be late for the workshop. But I didn't because I figured it didn't really matter. I couldn't make the lady call my name any sooner and just stressing about it wouldn't make me any earlier. But my preferred state of being has been restored because I got new batteries for two other old watches this morning. It's nice to know the time again.
Today was day 3 of cycle 8 so I only have one day left for IV stuff from the oncology day centre, as the plan currently stands. The nurse got into my vein first time (the hands have been a success story for this round too) and then I just had my little bag of etoposide sandwiched between a few minutes of saline flush. I left around 11.
It was Thursday, so it was Chicken and Corn soup from the Lavender Lads and Ladies so I had a cup of that. It was tasty, even though I still think it is weird to have soup around 10 am. The lady next to me today had some sort of lymphoma too. She had a permanent line in her arm and I am glad that I didn't have to get one of those. While she was getting her chemo, a guy came to see her with a big list of appointments. She's got lots of tests coming up and then she has to see Dr Giri about the results and then they will work out if she will go ahead with a transplant. I'm assuming it's some sort of stem cell or bone marrow transplant. I've read that they can be pretty nasty and knock people round in a big way. She's got an education session with some nurses about it in a week or so. Good luck lady, that's some crazy stuff I hope I won't need.
After I left the hospital I headed up to Rundle Street and met a friend. We popped into a fabric sale and I got a few bargains. Now I have to use them instead of just collecting them. From there we headed to a thai place for a bit of lunch. I had crispy egg noodles with mango sauce. Not a dish I've had before but for some strange reason I chose today to give it a go. It was pretty good, but I won't be rushing back for more. I like my noodles soft and warm. We had a lovely chat and a nice little catch up. It was particularly special because we live at opposite ends of the greater metropolitan area so can't pop round with ease. She also had a suitcase she had found for me. I am not quite sure where it should go and whether I need to implement a 'suitcase in, suitcase out' policy. I don't think it needs to come to that just yet.
My friend gave me a ride to the train station and I caught the 1:38 to Elizabeth where I met Dave and the girls on a quest to find a Mermaidia Barbie for Maesie. She had some birthday money to spend and only a Mermaidia Barbie would do. We tried Big W, then Target and eventually had success at Myer. We headed home before things went too pear-shaped.
Once home, I pretty much crashed. I walked a fair bit today and am all worn out. I will be off to bed soon because I will be up early in an attempt to get Powderfinger tickets.
Today was day 3 of cycle 8 so I only have one day left for IV stuff from the oncology day centre, as the plan currently stands. The nurse got into my vein first time (the hands have been a success story for this round too) and then I just had my little bag of etoposide sandwiched between a few minutes of saline flush. I left around 11.
It was Thursday, so it was Chicken and Corn soup from the Lavender Lads and Ladies so I had a cup of that. It was tasty, even though I still think it is weird to have soup around 10 am. The lady next to me today had some sort of lymphoma too. She had a permanent line in her arm and I am glad that I didn't have to get one of those. While she was getting her chemo, a guy came to see her with a big list of appointments. She's got lots of tests coming up and then she has to see Dr Giri about the results and then they will work out if she will go ahead with a transplant. I'm assuming it's some sort of stem cell or bone marrow transplant. I've read that they can be pretty nasty and knock people round in a big way. She's got an education session with some nurses about it in a week or so. Good luck lady, that's some crazy stuff I hope I won't need.
After I left the hospital I headed up to Rundle Street and met a friend. We popped into a fabric sale and I got a few bargains. Now I have to use them instead of just collecting them. From there we headed to a thai place for a bit of lunch. I had crispy egg noodles with mango sauce. Not a dish I've had before but for some strange reason I chose today to give it a go. It was pretty good, but I won't be rushing back for more. I like my noodles soft and warm. We had a lovely chat and a nice little catch up. It was particularly special because we live at opposite ends of the greater metropolitan area so can't pop round with ease. She also had a suitcase she had found for me. I am not quite sure where it should go and whether I need to implement a 'suitcase in, suitcase out' policy. I don't think it needs to come to that just yet.
My friend gave me a ride to the train station and I caught the 1:38 to Elizabeth where I met Dave and the girls on a quest to find a Mermaidia Barbie for Maesie. She had some birthday money to spend and only a Mermaidia Barbie would do. We tried Big W, then Target and eventually had success at Myer. We headed home before things went too pear-shaped.
Once home, I pretty much crashed. I walked a fair bit today and am all worn out. I will be off to bed soon because I will be up early in an attempt to get Powderfinger tickets.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
New head wear, chemo eyes and steroid cheeks
Here I am in my new pink head wrap. I quite like it. You may also notice my chemo affected, dark, glazed eyes and my puffy steroidy cheeks. It's not really my favourite look but my eyes won't be shoddy for long and hopefully soon the 'puff' will go because I won't have any more steroids to take. Also of note is the fact that my eye-brows are on the way back. Good news.
Maybe it is time to use my new beauty products to liven myself up a bit. As if.
Maybe it is time to use my new beauty products to liven myself up a bit. As if.
Maybe she's born with it....Maybe it's Maybelline
Yesterday we dropped the girls with their surrogate grandparents and then Dave and I headed into the city. I had a blood test at IMVS Frome Road and then I was a bit late for my 'Look Good...Feel Better' workshop. By the time I got there they had packed up my stuff so that no one else would pinch it! They set it all up for me again and I was a bit overwhelmed. This is what greeted me....
Most of you would know that from this lot, all I would use on a regular basis is the facewash, moisturiser and lip gloss. The rest of it tends to freak me out. Anyway, the lady up the front then went through the steps to apply make-up and I did find it quite helpful. At least now if I do need to tizzy myself up I half know what I am doing. Plus she had a few tips that were helpful for people going through different stages of cancer and treatment. I was always a step behind and was lucky to have a lovely lady help me through each part. Anyway, it wasn't too painful. I'm not sure I'd call it enjoyable but I am glad to have been treated to a number of lovely bits and pieces of cosmetic stuff.
After the makeup lady, a lady from the hairdresser shop in the hospital spoke about wigs, hats and other head covers. Lucky me was the model. She put a couple of wigs on me, a couple of hats and a wrap. One of the wigs was blond and was weird because it had a big fringe which kept getting in my face. I haven't had hair for ages and it was strange. There were a couple of cool hats which drew a few 'oh' s from the other ladies. They did look quite good. I went down to the shop after my chemo and there were lots of different coloured wraps, so I got another one of those in a nice pink. Maybe photos later...
So I survived my beauty workshop and then headed upstairs to oncology. I had a lovely nurse (of course, they are all lovely) and got all my drugs. Cyclo still burned my sinuses, grrrr, but it was the last one. That one will definitely not be missed. I left around 2 pm and Dave picked me up. He had spent the morning at Bible College trying to get an essay done and then he caught up with a couple of friends for a man-date at the bakery. He had a pretty good day.
We trundled home, picked up the girls who had been to St Kilda playground, and then went home. I crashed at home. Dave made a delicious dinner while I attempted to read stories to Maesie but I kept falling asleep and she had to wake me up, "Mum, keep reading the story". Occasionally I would be half asleep and still 'reading' but it didn't make sense and would blur between The Lion King, which I was supposed to be reading and whatever dream was half on the way. It took me ages to read the darn stories and Dave was laughing. I made it in the end though and after tea I watched a little of the box and then went to bed around 10.
Today my mum took me in and the plan was that I would hook up to free wifi at MacDonald's Rundle Mall in order to get pre-sale tickets to the Powderfinger concert. Well, MacDonald's Rundle Mall didn't have wifi today. Bummer. So I left to try the library. Didn't open till 10. It was 9:10. Bummer #2. Thought I'd try in the food court under David Jones to see if I could pick up a rogue, unsecured network. I found a free city of Adelaide one which I think was legitimate. I got on to Venuetix but could not purchase any tickets. By 9:30 the pre-sale ones were all gone. Bummer #3. This means my current plan is to head to the city early on Friday to attempt to get tickets when they go on sale at 9.
After that disappointing start to the day, things were about to pick up as it was chemo time (please note: sarcasm). I got to East Wing, Level 7 on time, waited a little while, flicked through the riveting volume of journalism that was today's Advertiser, thought to myself "that's 10 minutes I'll never get back" and then it was my turn. Needle in the back of my left hand first go. Flush, etoposide, flush. Done and dusted. Out to the carpark where my dad had just pulled in and then he drove me home.
I've paid a few bills, had some lunch, made some calls, sorted out a few bits and pieces, had the cooler man pack up the cooler for the winter. I am now counting down the minutes until Dave and the girls get home. I look forward to seeing them all, but then it all gets a bit crazy and that's the part I don't like. Tea is sorted though (thanks) so that's one less thing to worry about.
Every now and again I get random people sending me random messages or telling me a little something and it is quite encouraging. Just to know people all over the place are thinking of me and the family and are alongside us for the ride. Have I mentioned that even the guy across the road pulled up the driveway one day and held my hand and said "The Lord Bless you" or something along those lines? Maybe, but it still struck me that even my neighbours care and they've all said that if we get into a pickle, they'd give us a hand. That's pretty cool to know. I have felt all along that the Lord has been surrounding us with people and things and moments. It's not been a waste of time, it's not been a disaster, it's not been terrible (well, ok, parts have been fairly yuck and average). But mostly, it has been a weird kind of blessing. Like children are supposedly a blessing. Hard, both children and cancer, but a blessing none the less. I'm still working out how best to use what I have learnt and what I keep learning through this 'chapter' of my life.
Most of you would know that from this lot, all I would use on a regular basis is the facewash, moisturiser and lip gloss. The rest of it tends to freak me out. Anyway, the lady up the front then went through the steps to apply make-up and I did find it quite helpful. At least now if I do need to tizzy myself up I half know what I am doing. Plus she had a few tips that were helpful for people going through different stages of cancer and treatment. I was always a step behind and was lucky to have a lovely lady help me through each part. Anyway, it wasn't too painful. I'm not sure I'd call it enjoyable but I am glad to have been treated to a number of lovely bits and pieces of cosmetic stuff.
After the makeup lady, a lady from the hairdresser shop in the hospital spoke about wigs, hats and other head covers. Lucky me was the model. She put a couple of wigs on me, a couple of hats and a wrap. One of the wigs was blond and was weird because it had a big fringe which kept getting in my face. I haven't had hair for ages and it was strange. There were a couple of cool hats which drew a few 'oh' s from the other ladies. They did look quite good. I went down to the shop after my chemo and there were lots of different coloured wraps, so I got another one of those in a nice pink. Maybe photos later...
So I survived my beauty workshop and then headed upstairs to oncology. I had a lovely nurse (of course, they are all lovely) and got all my drugs. Cyclo still burned my sinuses, grrrr, but it was the last one. That one will definitely not be missed. I left around 2 pm and Dave picked me up. He had spent the morning at Bible College trying to get an essay done and then he caught up with a couple of friends for a man-date at the bakery. He had a pretty good day.
We trundled home, picked up the girls who had been to St Kilda playground, and then went home. I crashed at home. Dave made a delicious dinner while I attempted to read stories to Maesie but I kept falling asleep and she had to wake me up, "Mum, keep reading the story". Occasionally I would be half asleep and still 'reading' but it didn't make sense and would blur between The Lion King, which I was supposed to be reading and whatever dream was half on the way. It took me ages to read the darn stories and Dave was laughing. I made it in the end though and after tea I watched a little of the box and then went to bed around 10.
Today my mum took me in and the plan was that I would hook up to free wifi at MacDonald's Rundle Mall in order to get pre-sale tickets to the Powderfinger concert. Well, MacDonald's Rundle Mall didn't have wifi today. Bummer. So I left to try the library. Didn't open till 10. It was 9:10. Bummer #2. Thought I'd try in the food court under David Jones to see if I could pick up a rogue, unsecured network. I found a free city of Adelaide one which I think was legitimate. I got on to Venuetix but could not purchase any tickets. By 9:30 the pre-sale ones were all gone. Bummer #3. This means my current plan is to head to the city early on Friday to attempt to get tickets when they go on sale at 9.
After that disappointing start to the day, things were about to pick up as it was chemo time (please note: sarcasm). I got to East Wing, Level 7 on time, waited a little while, flicked through the riveting volume of journalism that was today's Advertiser, thought to myself "that's 10 minutes I'll never get back" and then it was my turn. Needle in the back of my left hand first go. Flush, etoposide, flush. Done and dusted. Out to the carpark where my dad had just pulled in and then he drove me home.
I've paid a few bills, had some lunch, made some calls, sorted out a few bits and pieces, had the cooler man pack up the cooler for the winter. I am now counting down the minutes until Dave and the girls get home. I look forward to seeing them all, but then it all gets a bit crazy and that's the part I don't like. Tea is sorted though (thanks) so that's one less thing to worry about.
Every now and again I get random people sending me random messages or telling me a little something and it is quite encouraging. Just to know people all over the place are thinking of me and the family and are alongside us for the ride. Have I mentioned that even the guy across the road pulled up the driveway one day and held my hand and said "The Lord Bless you" or something along those lines? Maybe, but it still struck me that even my neighbours care and they've all said that if we get into a pickle, they'd give us a hand. That's pretty cool to know. I have felt all along that the Lord has been surrounding us with people and things and moments. It's not been a waste of time, it's not been a disaster, it's not been terrible (well, ok, parts have been fairly yuck and average). But mostly, it has been a weird kind of blessing. Like children are supposedly a blessing. Hard, both children and cancer, but a blessing none the less. I'm still working out how best to use what I have learnt and what I keep learning through this 'chapter' of my life.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Let the good times roll.
The long weekend is over and it has been jam-packed with action and adventure. Adventure is probably an exaggeration, but we have been busy.
Saturday began at Starplex, as all good Saturdays should. I did RPM this week and it was good. Lucky I burnt a few calories in that class because in the afternoon, Maesie and I went to MacGillivray village headquarters for Dave's sister's baby shower. It was a nice little party and she is well on her way to having masses of baby gear. Maesie enjoyed playing with the other two youngsters there and I think she was a bit chuffed to be at the party without Elsie and all the other cousins. Dave and Elsie also enjoyed their time together at home, so it was a good day all round. I was tired when I got home, but it wasn't too bad. Dave and I watched '5o First Dates', which I have seen a few times before, but is always good for a giggle.
On Sunday we went to church and after the service a friend invited us to lunch because they had baked copious amounts of focaccia. We had a tasty lunch with her and her girls and concluded the visit with a game of 'Disney Buzz' on the Playstation. It was a quiz game all about Disney movies - Dave won.
After lunch we had some friends around for afternoon tea and we mostly managed to chat and enjoy a hot beverage in the front lounge whilst the girls pottered about and played in the front yard. Yet another good time catching up with friends.
Today we all enjoyed brunch with two couples, their offspring and impending offspring. More delicious food and more delightful company. Conversation topics such as lawn establishment and maintenance, cloth nappies and the difficulties of getting out of beanbags only confirmed that we are all getting older. The girls were, once again, quite well behaved and we were all able to enjoy our time there. Although Elsie said even less than normal and was quite reserved after her nap, nothing like the screaming banshee she sometimes is at home.
We left brunch around 1:45 and traveled to Humbug Scrub to see my mum, dad, sister, brother-in-law and two nephews. Nothing overly exciting to report about our time in the scrub, but it was just nice to be there with my family for a little while. My sister is also due to have a baby in the next few weeks so I'm looking forward to that.
Tomorrow I start chemo again. Round 8. It should be the last one. It's going to be a bit weird I think. The oncology day centre and its nurses have been a significant part of my life for the last 6 months or so - I'll miss them a bit. I won't miss the chemo or the cancer but there are other parts of this that have been good. It'll be day one tomorrow so that's doxorubicin, etoposide and cyclophosphamide. The last time my sinuses get burnt out - that'll be good. I will nibble biscuits again because it seemed to work for me last time.
Before I start tomorrow I have two other things - a blood test and a workshop/seminar. The blood test doesn't worry me. The seminar does. It's called 'Look Good, Feel Better' and it's about how to look after your skin and do your make up and deal with hair loss etc etc during chemo. I feel a bit dodgy doing it tomorrow since I'm about to finish and I don't really care much for make-up, but I haven't really been able to make it to any of the other dates it's been offered and the word on the oncology street is that they give you quite a few products to use. If I end up with a bit of free moisturiser I'll be happy. If they make me tizzy myself up with lipstick - not so happy.
In other news, I think my hair is growing back. I have an even fuzz all over my head and it didn't seem to fall out last time. Also, my previously polished toe nails are coming to an end. A few have chipped off, I had to cut one. It has been a little sad. It also saddens me to report that my beautiful front yard has been invaded by weeds. After a few showers of rain all the stinky soursobs have come up. They are as welcome as the cats.
Saturday began at Starplex, as all good Saturdays should. I did RPM this week and it was good. Lucky I burnt a few calories in that class because in the afternoon, Maesie and I went to MacGillivray village headquarters for Dave's sister's baby shower. It was a nice little party and she is well on her way to having masses of baby gear. Maesie enjoyed playing with the other two youngsters there and I think she was a bit chuffed to be at the party without Elsie and all the other cousins. Dave and Elsie also enjoyed their time together at home, so it was a good day all round. I was tired when I got home, but it wasn't too bad. Dave and I watched '5o First Dates', which I have seen a few times before, but is always good for a giggle.
On Sunday we went to church and after the service a friend invited us to lunch because they had baked copious amounts of focaccia. We had a tasty lunch with her and her girls and concluded the visit with a game of 'Disney Buzz' on the Playstation. It was a quiz game all about Disney movies - Dave won.
After lunch we had some friends around for afternoon tea and we mostly managed to chat and enjoy a hot beverage in the front lounge whilst the girls pottered about and played in the front yard. Yet another good time catching up with friends.
Today we all enjoyed brunch with two couples, their offspring and impending offspring. More delicious food and more delightful company. Conversation topics such as lawn establishment and maintenance, cloth nappies and the difficulties of getting out of beanbags only confirmed that we are all getting older. The girls were, once again, quite well behaved and we were all able to enjoy our time there. Although Elsie said even less than normal and was quite reserved after her nap, nothing like the screaming banshee she sometimes is at home.
We left brunch around 1:45 and traveled to Humbug Scrub to see my mum, dad, sister, brother-in-law and two nephews. Nothing overly exciting to report about our time in the scrub, but it was just nice to be there with my family for a little while. My sister is also due to have a baby in the next few weeks so I'm looking forward to that.
Tomorrow I start chemo again. Round 8. It should be the last one. It's going to be a bit weird I think. The oncology day centre and its nurses have been a significant part of my life for the last 6 months or so - I'll miss them a bit. I won't miss the chemo or the cancer but there are other parts of this that have been good. It'll be day one tomorrow so that's doxorubicin, etoposide and cyclophosphamide. The last time my sinuses get burnt out - that'll be good. I will nibble biscuits again because it seemed to work for me last time.
Before I start tomorrow I have two other things - a blood test and a workshop/seminar. The blood test doesn't worry me. The seminar does. It's called 'Look Good, Feel Better' and it's about how to look after your skin and do your make up and deal with hair loss etc etc during chemo. I feel a bit dodgy doing it tomorrow since I'm about to finish and I don't really care much for make-up, but I haven't really been able to make it to any of the other dates it's been offered and the word on the oncology street is that they give you quite a few products to use. If I end up with a bit of free moisturiser I'll be happy. If they make me tizzy myself up with lipstick - not so happy.
In other news, I think my hair is growing back. I have an even fuzz all over my head and it didn't seem to fall out last time. Also, my previously polished toe nails are coming to an end. A few have chipped off, I had to cut one. It has been a little sad. It also saddens me to report that my beautiful front yard has been invaded by weeds. After a few showers of rain all the stinky soursobs have come up. They are as welcome as the cats.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Hello doctor.
It's been quite a good day. I had a blood test this morning and she didn't give me a bruise, which was a good start.
Some friends called past on their way through to the riverland and Dave made scones for morning tea. The scones were delicious and it was lovely to catch up with more friends we haven't seen for a while.
Around midday we left home, dropped the girls at grandma's and then Dave and I went to the RAH for my pre-chemo appointment with the doctor. I found out today that I will have a PET scan six weeks after the last round finishes, so that's nine weeks from now - making it near the end of June. That's quite a time away. That scan should show whether any active disease remains, so I won't really know if I'm done until then. The doctor did say that he hasn't had to give anyone more than 8 rounds of BEACOPP for Hodgkin's lymphoma. Hopefully I won't break his record.
My blood results were ok, except for my platelet count which was low. 76 and it should be somewhere near 150. It should increase over the weekend just in time to go down again with the next dose of chemo.
I've got lots of things happening this weekend and I am hoping I don't get too tired. I probably will but I could also sit around doing nothing and still get tired so I may as well make the tiredness worthwhile.
Some friends called past on their way through to the riverland and Dave made scones for morning tea. The scones were delicious and it was lovely to catch up with more friends we haven't seen for a while.
Around midday we left home, dropped the girls at grandma's and then Dave and I went to the RAH for my pre-chemo appointment with the doctor. I found out today that I will have a PET scan six weeks after the last round finishes, so that's nine weeks from now - making it near the end of June. That's quite a time away. That scan should show whether any active disease remains, so I won't really know if I'm done until then. The doctor did say that he hasn't had to give anyone more than 8 rounds of BEACOPP for Hodgkin's lymphoma. Hopefully I won't break his record.
My blood results were ok, except for my platelet count which was low. 76 and it should be somewhere near 150. It should increase over the weekend just in time to go down again with the next dose of chemo.
I've got lots of things happening this weekend and I am hoping I don't get too tired. I probably will but I could also sit around doing nothing and still get tired so I may as well make the tiredness worthwhile.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Extremities
My fingers are quite bad today. The ends are numb and sore and every now and again a random finger half cramps up. It's weird. I have also become more clumsy and I keep dropping stuff.
My toes have also felt numb today. It's as bad as when I was pregnant.
On the up side, I spent the majority of the day making cards with a friend. I made two in around 4 hours! Ha. It was another lovely day, including tea and biscuits.
I'm typing this whilst watching Grumpy Old Women which means although I would like to include some more thoughts, I don't have any.
My toes have also felt numb today. It's as bad as when I was pregnant.
On the up side, I spent the majority of the day making cards with a friend. I made two in around 4 hours! Ha. It was another lovely day, including tea and biscuits.
I'm typing this whilst watching Grumpy Old Women which means although I would like to include some more thoughts, I don't have any.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
One excellent Monday
Yesterday was a splendid day. Dave and the girls left to their various activities around 8:30. I pulled on my runners again and went for a walk/jog up to the train station and back, just like the old days. I made it home without mishap, which was a bonus.
At home I had breaky, choked down my stupid tablets, had a shower and then tidied up. A dear friend and her infant came to catch up and we had a good day talking about all sorts of things.
Around 4ish I got a phone call to see if I wanted a couple of free tickets to the Spandau Ballet/Tears for Fears concert last night. It was very last minute and I was in a bit of a tizz due to the spontaneity of events. I'm not really good at that. I called a few friends and found one willing and able to join me.
We had dinner before I left and Maesie ate it without much fuss. It really was a great day.
I drove myself to the Entertainment Centre and was fine, yet another achievement. The concert was ace. Loud music that could be felt through the floor. It's likely that I destroyed a bit of hearing before I used the earplugs, but that's okay. Lots of 'mature' ladies dancing in the aisles. Just great.
I do love music but I don't have it on much at home. I have the radio on in the car if I am by myself. I really should incorporate more music into everyday because life is better with a soundtrack.
At home I had breaky, choked down my stupid tablets, had a shower and then tidied up. A dear friend and her infant came to catch up and we had a good day talking about all sorts of things.
Around 4ish I got a phone call to see if I wanted a couple of free tickets to the Spandau Ballet/Tears for Fears concert last night. It was very last minute and I was in a bit of a tizz due to the spontaneity of events. I'm not really good at that. I called a few friends and found one willing and able to join me.
We had dinner before I left and Maesie ate it without much fuss. It really was a great day.
I drove myself to the Entertainment Centre and was fine, yet another achievement. The concert was ace. Loud music that could be felt through the floor. It's likely that I destroyed a bit of hearing before I used the earplugs, but that's okay. Lots of 'mature' ladies dancing in the aisles. Just great.
I do love music but I don't have it on much at home. I have the radio on in the car if I am by myself. I really should incorporate more music into everyday because life is better with a soundtrack.
Return of the Vomeros
I did go for a run on Friday. Well, when I say run what actually happened was I did go to the gym in my neglected Vomeros and I spent some time on the treadmill. Mostly walking but a few intervals of jogging. I did 3.16 k in 30 minutes. I'm not setting any speed records but at least it was something. After that I got a blood test and picked up a few groceries, then home for the rest of the day. During the afternoon, Dave and Maesie acted out a mixed-up princess story with all of Maesie's princess barbies and other items. It ended with a wedding between Ariel and the Prince, as they usually do. During the vows, Maesie made the Prince ask "Do you promise to eat whatever Ariel cooks?" Ariel also had to promise to eat whatever the Prince cooks. Dave and I had a little giggle about that one.
Saturday marked a momentous occasion. I drove myself into the city and home again. I haven't driven that far since probably November last year. It was nice to be able to feel well enough to do it. I did go to the city with a purpose, not just to see if I could drive there... It was the Micah Challenge launch of their Action Toolkit full of ideas, information and resources about the Millennium Development goals and ways to make positive change for the world's poor. It was a good morning and quite thought provoking.
On Saturday afternoon we all went to a one year old birthday party. It was a good afternoon. The girls played with the other children and it was good to catch up with friends and family who were there. In the evening we left the girls there to stay with grandparents and Dave and I headed off to the Church Missionary Society Dinner. Which may sound quite boring but was a good night.
Sunday was average, mainly because it was post-party day and we were all tired and grumpy.
Anyway, three days where I felt well and life was reasonably normal.
Saturday marked a momentous occasion. I drove myself into the city and home again. I haven't driven that far since probably November last year. It was nice to be able to feel well enough to do it. I did go to the city with a purpose, not just to see if I could drive there... It was the Micah Challenge launch of their Action Toolkit full of ideas, information and resources about the Millennium Development goals and ways to make positive change for the world's poor. It was a good morning and quite thought provoking.
On Saturday afternoon we all went to a one year old birthday party. It was a good afternoon. The girls played with the other children and it was good to catch up with friends and family who were there. In the evening we left the girls there to stay with grandparents and Dave and I headed off to the Church Missionary Society Dinner. Which may sound quite boring but was a good night.
Sunday was average, mainly because it was post-party day and we were all tired and grumpy.
Anyway, three days where I felt well and life was reasonably normal.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Neglected Vomeros
I just want to run. I haven't run for so long. I've got a lovely pair of Vomeros under my bed that did the City to Bay and that's about it. They're busting to get out. I saw the tubbies on the fat-show running at 20km/hr tonight and I just want to have a crack at it. Maybe I'll get on the treadmill tomorrow. It might use up all of tomorrow's allowance of energy, but I think it would be worth it. I feel like it could go either way - like if I run a bit or exercise then I'll feel better for it or that I might just crash and burn and be in bed the next day.
I am seriously considering doing the Mother's Day Classic. It's on Mother's Day, clearly, which is May 9th. That will be the Sunday at the end of week 2 of the last round. I think I'll just go for the 4 kms and if I walk most of the way then so be it, but I think I have to do it so that I know that I can. It's around the Torren's Lake, the same course I've done many times for the Corporate Cup, and I just need to get out and do things.
I get all pumped about getting back into it but really, I'm not sure I'm up for it. I blobbed around home all day today. No shower. Doing some washing, paperwork, a bit of cooking, looking after the girls but not really firing. I used to be so much more efficient but it's just not working for me at the moment. Just the thought of organising the girls by myself and loading them into the car by myself is too hard sometimes. Although, sometimes it was too hard before all this cancer bizo....
I am seriously considering doing the Mother's Day Classic. It's on Mother's Day, clearly, which is May 9th. That will be the Sunday at the end of week 2 of the last round. I think I'll just go for the 4 kms and if I walk most of the way then so be it, but I think I have to do it so that I know that I can. It's around the Torren's Lake, the same course I've done many times for the Corporate Cup, and I just need to get out and do things.
I get all pumped about getting back into it but really, I'm not sure I'm up for it. I blobbed around home all day today. No shower. Doing some washing, paperwork, a bit of cooking, looking after the girls but not really firing. I used to be so much more efficient but it's just not working for me at the moment. Just the thought of organising the girls by myself and loading them into the car by myself is too hard sometimes. Although, sometimes it was too hard before all this cancer bizo....
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Celebrate?
Yesterday was the last day of chemo for Round 7. We dropped the girls at grandma's and went into the hospital yet again. I didn't have to wait too long and my two bags and flushing didn't take too long either. It was uneventful. Creamy pumpkin soup - no thanks, not today. I got a bunch more antiviral and antibiotic pills to get me through to the next round, as well as a red cell booster injection to give myself next week.
We went back to Dave's mum's and had some lunch and then hung around for a while because the girls were happy (mostly) playing with their cousins who were also there. Plus it's easy to stay in the MacGillivray village and pretend there's nothing else to be done at home. When we got home it was dinner time, reading time, bed time etc.
Today we had a slow start. Just hanging around at home till around 11 when we left to go to Dave's sister's place. Dave and the girls stayed there and tried to help get ready for their weekend happenings however I'm not sure if they were more hindrance than help. I drove into the city to catch up with a couple of friends for lunch. I had a delicious pasta dish plus some scrumptious dessert. We sat outside and it was a lovely day, with lovely ladies and lovely food.
After lunch I went back to the MacGillivray village #2 where we did a few little jobs and then came home. This evening we have had a friend around for dinner and had a very nice time, though the conversation has been largely poetry/English/drama based which is not my favourite.
I have been asked a few times about my former quest for suitcases and what they were actually for. I now have two stacks of four suitcases in the front lounge room, some of which are filled with a variety of random items such as spare pillows or stationery. Here are a couple of photos:
As these 8 rounds draw to a close I have been thinking more about what happens at the end and different people have made comments along the lines of 'I bet you'll be glad when this is all over', 'not long now and you'll be finished', 'soon you'll be able to celebrate' but I don't really feel it. I'm not sure if/when I will feel all those things. I'm really not sure if I want to celebrate or if I think there is anything to celebrate or if I just want to get back to the way things were. But I also can't pretend that nothing has happened and I need to accept that something has been completed.
I think it's more that if it's all gone I will thank the Lord for getting us all through it and healing my body through the care and science of the medical profession and the care and prayer of His people. Then I will continue to plod along trusting Him with whatever comes along next. I'm not convinced that needs a party.
We went back to Dave's mum's and had some lunch and then hung around for a while because the girls were happy (mostly) playing with their cousins who were also there. Plus it's easy to stay in the MacGillivray village and pretend there's nothing else to be done at home. When we got home it was dinner time, reading time, bed time etc.
Today we had a slow start. Just hanging around at home till around 11 when we left to go to Dave's sister's place. Dave and the girls stayed there and tried to help get ready for their weekend happenings however I'm not sure if they were more hindrance than help. I drove into the city to catch up with a couple of friends for lunch. I had a delicious pasta dish plus some scrumptious dessert. We sat outside and it was a lovely day, with lovely ladies and lovely food.
After lunch I went back to the MacGillivray village #2 where we did a few little jobs and then came home. This evening we have had a friend around for dinner and had a very nice time, though the conversation has been largely poetry/English/drama based which is not my favourite.
I have been asked a few times about my former quest for suitcases and what they were actually for. I now have two stacks of four suitcases in the front lounge room, some of which are filled with a variety of random items such as spare pillows or stationery. Here are a couple of photos:
As these 8 rounds draw to a close I have been thinking more about what happens at the end and different people have made comments along the lines of 'I bet you'll be glad when this is all over', 'not long now and you'll be finished', 'soon you'll be able to celebrate' but I don't really feel it. I'm not sure if/when I will feel all those things. I'm really not sure if I want to celebrate or if I think there is anything to celebrate or if I just want to get back to the way things were. But I also can't pretend that nothing has happened and I need to accept that something has been completed.
I think it's more that if it's all gone I will thank the Lord for getting us all through it and healing my body through the care and science of the medical profession and the care and prayer of His people. Then I will continue to plod along trusting Him with whatever comes along next. I'm not convinced that needs a party.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Down with pills
I don't want to take my tablets anymore. There are 11 this morning and it has taken me a while to get them down after a little face-off at the kitchen table.
Sure, my profile photo shows me grinning with my tablet box but I'm over that stupid, plastic, compartmentalised container.
Sure, my profile photo shows me grinning with my tablet box but I'm over that stupid, plastic, compartmentalised container.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Energy = 4.5/10
I've been meaning to write for a couple of days but just haven't made it till now. I'm so vague I can't even remember what has happened since Thursday....
Oh, I remember. Friday was quite busy. I was tired. No surprises really.
We all piled into the car and headed in to the city for Dave to do a voiceover job. While he was there, I went to get a blood test with my two young friends. It didn't take too long, but it took quite a while to get across the city. We picked up Dave and headed down to Brooklyn Park to a farewell service and lunch with the Anglican formation group. I am glad we all went, but it was tiring and I didn't do much when we got home.
On Saturday we all went to Starplex, as is the norm, and I did Body Balance. Once again, it was good to move and do some sort of exercise. After that, Maesie and I went to the post office and then to get a few groceries. Back at home we had lunch with Dave's sister and her family. I had a tasty turkey and salad roll. I just realised that I didn't have cranberry sauce though, which is an indication of how tired I was. I think Saturday night was uneventful.
Sunday we had church followed by a church lunch. It was good, but tiring again. I'm just tuckered out much of the time.
Today I have been fairly useless. I organised the car insurance renewal, tried to work out whether there is anything left of some thousands Dave once had in a superannuation account, watched part of Aladdin with Maesie, got a blood test, rested on my bed and that's about it.
Tomorrow I am heading into the RAH again for what will hopefully be my penultimate doses of vincristine and bleomycin.
As I sit around not doing much and reclining on my bed, I have been doing a bit of thinking. I have been reading a book called "How good are you? Clean living in a dirty world." so I have been considering where our household stands environmentally and thinking hippy thoughts. Things are quite screwed up I think. I shan't rave about it here....
I have also been scaring myself with many thoughts of crafts and things to make, which is spooky. It seems that having turned thirty I feel the urge to create, as well as taking an interest in history - something I was never particularly fond of. I am just getting more and more nanna-like.
Oh, I remember. Friday was quite busy. I was tired. No surprises really.
We all piled into the car and headed in to the city for Dave to do a voiceover job. While he was there, I went to get a blood test with my two young friends. It didn't take too long, but it took quite a while to get across the city. We picked up Dave and headed down to Brooklyn Park to a farewell service and lunch with the Anglican formation group. I am glad we all went, but it was tiring and I didn't do much when we got home.
On Saturday we all went to Starplex, as is the norm, and I did Body Balance. Once again, it was good to move and do some sort of exercise. After that, Maesie and I went to the post office and then to get a few groceries. Back at home we had lunch with Dave's sister and her family. I had a tasty turkey and salad roll. I just realised that I didn't have cranberry sauce though, which is an indication of how tired I was. I think Saturday night was uneventful.
Sunday we had church followed by a church lunch. It was good, but tiring again. I'm just tuckered out much of the time.
Today I have been fairly useless. I organised the car insurance renewal, tried to work out whether there is anything left of some thousands Dave once had in a superannuation account, watched part of Aladdin with Maesie, got a blood test, rested on my bed and that's about it.
Tomorrow I am heading into the RAH again for what will hopefully be my penultimate doses of vincristine and bleomycin.
As I sit around not doing much and reclining on my bed, I have been doing a bit of thinking. I have been reading a book called "How good are you? Clean living in a dirty world." so I have been considering where our household stands environmentally and thinking hippy thoughts. Things are quite screwed up I think. I shan't rave about it here....
I have also been scaring myself with many thoughts of crafts and things to make, which is spooky. It seems that having turned thirty I feel the urge to create, as well as taking an interest in history - something I was never particularly fond of. I am just getting more and more nanna-like.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Turns out Thursday is the best soup day
Today was Round 7, Day 3. I haven't been in the Oncology Day Centre for chemo on a Thursday so far and it turns out we've been missing the best soup day - chicken and corn. Around 10:15 the splendid volunteers, the Lavender Lads and Ladies, come round with a trolley and offer everyone soup. The type of soup changes each day and I've not had any up till now. I didn't accept a cup today, but Dave did and I had a bit and it was very tasty. It's just a pity I haven't been in on Thursdays before. I think I should be in on a Thursday next round too, so I might have a cup then. It's a bit weird though, I think, to have soup at 10 in the morning. I prefer tea and biscuits. It has also been summer so it's not really soupy weather. Anyway, enough about the soup....
The nurse got the cannula in first time today. For the past three days they've had success in the back of my hands. Jackpot, undestroyed territory. Saline, etoposide, saline. Farewell. See you next week. Enjoy your movie tomorrow.
We headed to The Parade and caught up with some friends for lunch. I enjoyed delicious Drunken Noodles and spending time together. We went back to their place to collect some books and got stuck chatting for a little longer, but it was nice and something I need to try and make more of an effort to do.
Another farewell and we headed back to Gawler to collect the girls from their adopted grandparents (thanks!). They spent some time at the beach and the playground and they had a Paddlepop. We picked up two tired but happy girls and left two tired but happy older folk to recover!
I am flagging this evening. Dave has done showers, stories and bedtime single-handedly while I sit at the table and do a few bits and pieces. I am tired and will be heading to bed early tonight, but it has been a good day.
The nurse got the cannula in first time today. For the past three days they've had success in the back of my hands. Jackpot, undestroyed territory. Saline, etoposide, saline. Farewell. See you next week. Enjoy your movie tomorrow.
We headed to The Parade and caught up with some friends for lunch. I enjoyed delicious Drunken Noodles and spending time together. We went back to their place to collect some books and got stuck chatting for a little longer, but it was nice and something I need to try and make more of an effort to do.
Another farewell and we headed back to Gawler to collect the girls from their adopted grandparents (thanks!). They spent some time at the beach and the playground and they had a Paddlepop. We picked up two tired but happy girls and left two tired but happy older folk to recover!
I am flagging this evening. Dave has done showers, stories and bedtime single-handedly while I sit at the table and do a few bits and pieces. I am tired and will be heading to bed early tonight, but it has been a good day.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Two girls eating icecream in oncology
Tuesday was the first day in the oncology day centre when we have heard someone chucking up during their chemo. It was a little bit gross. I think it was her first day and she wasn't going so well.
I did end up getting my chemo because my blood results were okay, so that was good news. A doctor came to see me, but I can't remember his name. He asked me some randomish questions and listened to my chest with a stethoscope and decided all was well for chemo.
I tried something new this round to prevent getting a sinus reaction from the cyclophosphamide. After the last round, I wondered whether eating something during the treatment might help and indeed it did. I slowly munched on a Teddy Bear biscuit and the reaction was greatly reduced. It would have been nice if I'd worked that out SIX rounds ago!
Some time ago I mentioned I had stripy nails. I have attempted to take a photo:
I'm not too sure what has caused it - we've kind of got two theories. Either the nails don't really grow for part of the round because those cells get killed too or it is due to the changes in potassium and magnesium that occur. Or we're completely wrong.
My face is getting a steroid puff and I'm not too happy about it. I think I'm starting to look a bit like Darth Vader at the end of Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. Fat cheeks and a bald head. I need to find myself some funky black headwear/breathing apparatus.
Today when we went into the day centre we took the girls. They haven't seen the place till now and I'm not actually sure if they are allowed in but we thought it might be good for Maesie to see where I go, see what happens and meet some of the lovely nurses so that she might not worry about it as much. We weren't in for long and the girls had icecream and it was all fine and dandy. It didn't take long at all so we took the girls to Glover playground for a while and they had a good time, followed by a quick stop at Adelaide Fresh Fruiterer's on Prospect Road, a lovely little fruit and veg shop which is too far from my house.
I was talking to the nurse yesterday and she said that some of the nodes that have been measured and included in the total surface area count are within the normal size range for nodes. What they can't tell from the CT scan is whether or not the nodes contain active disease - that info comes from a PET scan where they inject radioactive glucose and then you have to lie still for ages and only rapidly dividing cells, the cancerous ones, show up in the picture. I had one at the start, but I'm not sure if I'll have another one - so I don't know how they'll determine if all the active disease is gone.
I did end up getting my chemo because my blood results were okay, so that was good news. A doctor came to see me, but I can't remember his name. He asked me some randomish questions and listened to my chest with a stethoscope and decided all was well for chemo.
I tried something new this round to prevent getting a sinus reaction from the cyclophosphamide. After the last round, I wondered whether eating something during the treatment might help and indeed it did. I slowly munched on a Teddy Bear biscuit and the reaction was greatly reduced. It would have been nice if I'd worked that out SIX rounds ago!
Some time ago I mentioned I had stripy nails. I have attempted to take a photo:
I'm not too sure what has caused it - we've kind of got two theories. Either the nails don't really grow for part of the round because those cells get killed too or it is due to the changes in potassium and magnesium that occur. Or we're completely wrong.
My face is getting a steroid puff and I'm not too happy about it. I think I'm starting to look a bit like Darth Vader at the end of Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. Fat cheeks and a bald head. I need to find myself some funky black headwear/breathing apparatus.
Today when we went into the day centre we took the girls. They haven't seen the place till now and I'm not actually sure if they are allowed in but we thought it might be good for Maesie to see where I go, see what happens and meet some of the lovely nurses so that she might not worry about it as much. We weren't in for long and the girls had icecream and it was all fine and dandy. It didn't take long at all so we took the girls to Glover playground for a while and they had a good time, followed by a quick stop at Adelaide Fresh Fruiterer's on Prospect Road, a lovely little fruit and veg shop which is too far from my house.
I was talking to the nurse yesterday and she said that some of the nodes that have been measured and included in the total surface area count are within the normal size range for nodes. What they can't tell from the CT scan is whether or not the nodes contain active disease - that info comes from a PET scan where they inject radioactive glucose and then you have to lie still for ages and only rapidly dividing cells, the cancerous ones, show up in the picture. I had one at the start, but I'm not sure if I'll have another one - so I don't know how they'll determine if all the active disease is gone.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Maesie, happy times and surviving
I hope Maesie makes it to the end of this treatment fiasco. She no longer wants to sleepover at Grandma's, even if Dave and I are there too. She's not keen on staying anywhere - she just likes her own house and her own bunk, apparently. It made me a little upset tonight when she kicked up a fuss about staying at Grandma's. She doesn't quite understand it all, but she does know I haven't been well and she's seen me wonky and she knows she's had to go to Grandma's because I needed to rest and couldn't look after her. I'm sure she worries about it but doesn't know how to talk about it and express what's going on in her head. Hopefully after the next six weeks things can get back to normal and Maesie can just kick up a fuss due to random reasons like a normal four year old.
We've had a good Easter weekend. A nice balance of time at home and time with both sides of the family. Plus a bonus dinner with some friends which was a fun time. Good food, not too much chocolate, some laughs. Happy times, my Grandpa would have said.
For the last few days I have been feeling very nearly back to my old self. I have been getting all sorts of things done and haven't been feeling too weak or tired. I hope I don't have too many low days during this coming round. I have been starting to think more about life beyond the next six weeks. I am cautious though, because I'm not convinced it'll all be gone. I suppose I'll go back to work, get to the gym more, make plans for a holiday, set some goals. I don't really know. It's weird. I've read a little bit of stuff and seen some books about 'cancer survivors' and part of me thinks it's not such a big deal. You've been sick, you had treatment, you're okay now, get over it. Other people have different diseases they get treatment for and get better and they don't have 'survivorship issues'. But part of me does think there may be some truth in it because for a few reasons, this has changed me - not massively, but in small ways - and I do have things to process and deal with because of the events of the past six months.
We've had a good Easter weekend. A nice balance of time at home and time with both sides of the family. Plus a bonus dinner with some friends which was a fun time. Good food, not too much chocolate, some laughs. Happy times, my Grandpa would have said.
For the last few days I have been feeling very nearly back to my old self. I have been getting all sorts of things done and haven't been feeling too weak or tired. I hope I don't have too many low days during this coming round. I have been starting to think more about life beyond the next six weeks. I am cautious though, because I'm not convinced it'll all be gone. I suppose I'll go back to work, get to the gym more, make plans for a holiday, set some goals. I don't really know. It's weird. I've read a little bit of stuff and seen some books about 'cancer survivors' and part of me thinks it's not such a big deal. You've been sick, you had treatment, you're okay now, get over it. Other people have different diseases they get treatment for and get better and they don't have 'survivorship issues'. But part of me does think there may be some truth in it because for a few reasons, this has changed me - not massively, but in small ways - and I do have things to process and deal with because of the events of the past six months.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Round 6 Results
On Thursday I had my blood test and rang the trials office to get my results. My usual nurse wasn't around so I had to talk to someone else and she told me my red and white blood cell counts were ok and my potassium was in the normal range. My platelet count, however, was low and if it doesn't come up over the weekend, there is the possibility that I may not be given my chemo on Tuesday when I go in to start Round 7. I don't think there is much I can do to make more platelets so it's a matter of prayer. I don't really want to go into the RAH and then not get my treatment. I'll be pushing to start regardless, but I'm not sure how that will go because neither my normal trials nurse nor Dr Giri will be there on Tuesday. I shall be attempting to convince strangers.
I also asked her about the results of my lung function test and CT scan. She told me the lung function test looked fine, which is good. It means the bleomycin hasn't destroyed my lungs up till now so I am glad about that because I need my lungs. She did tell me that the total surface area of the lymphomas is down to around 13 square centimetres. I started with about 120, then after 4 rounds it was about 40 so to be down to 13 now is pretty good. Part of me doesn't want to believe her and is convinced that she has made a mistake because she isn't who I normally deal with and she might have the numbers mixed up. I think it's more I don't want to let myself believe that's it down so low and getting so close to being done. I don't want to get too excited just yet.
Logically and mathematically, it should all go. In two rounds at baseline, 27 square centimetres or so have gone. I have 13 cm left and two more rounds therefore it should go. But I'm not sure it necessarily works that way. What I don't quite understand is how they can say it's all gone. I know they do scans and have a look but I've see those pictures and there are a hell of a lot of different spots all over them. I guess the doctors know what they are looking at more than I do but even so..... I feel like they could say at the end that it's all gone but really there will be a few renegade nasty cells drifting around the place just waiting for an opportunity to set up shop and grow again.
I also asked her about the results of my lung function test and CT scan. She told me the lung function test looked fine, which is good. It means the bleomycin hasn't destroyed my lungs up till now so I am glad about that because I need my lungs. She did tell me that the total surface area of the lymphomas is down to around 13 square centimetres. I started with about 120, then after 4 rounds it was about 40 so to be down to 13 now is pretty good. Part of me doesn't want to believe her and is convinced that she has made a mistake because she isn't who I normally deal with and she might have the numbers mixed up. I think it's more I don't want to let myself believe that's it down so low and getting so close to being done. I don't want to get too excited just yet.
Logically and mathematically, it should all go. In two rounds at baseline, 27 square centimetres or so have gone. I have 13 cm left and two more rounds therefore it should go. But I'm not sure it necessarily works that way. What I don't quite understand is how they can say it's all gone. I know they do scans and have a look but I've see those pictures and there are a hell of a lot of different spots all over them. I guess the doctors know what they are looking at more than I do but even so..... I feel like they could say at the end that it's all gone but really there will be a few renegade nasty cells drifting around the place just waiting for an opportunity to set up shop and grow again.
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