Three more sleeps

I went to see my GP on Friday and I now have cream for my eyelids (she thinks it's dermatitis of some description), antibiotics for my cold/cough (she thought I sounded a bit wheezy) and Savlon for my sores. I have been using these medications for a few days now and I think things are coming good.

I have had many suggestions about my eyelids and it seems I may have struck a chord with many who have had or still have, flakey eyelids. Well folks, it could be dermatitis caused by something you inadvertently rubbed on your sensitive eyelid skin and no amount of moisturiser is going to solve it. Go to the doctor and get the meds. It's an option anyway.

On Saturday I had quite a crushing day. I woke up with no energy at all. I got out of bed only because Elsie bugged me to and I made it to the couch. Maesie then yelled out that she wanted to get up so I called back that she could, but she wanted help. I called to Dave to help her because I couldn't do it. He got up and went down to Maesie and then she cracked a wobbly because she wanted mum to do it. Dave, who finds her irrational stubborn-ness testing at the best of times, lost his cool because he had been awake for all of about 5 minutes. He closed her door and told her to sort it out. She freaked out more and screamed like a banshee. I was weeping on the couch when Dave came out because I felt useless in the middle of it all and kind of like I'd caused it because if I was able to get Maesie then it wouldn't have happened so that didn't make Dave feel much better and Elsie-belle was standing in the middle of the lounge slightly confused and looking at me and saying "Sad, mummy?" And this was 7am. Ace way to start the day.

Dave toasted me a crumpet and made me a cup of tea. After that I shuffled around and got the girls dressed and packed snacks and then they went with Dave to the gym and stayed in creche while he taught his class. I went back to bed. I got up about an hour later, had a shower and then went to the Munno to get some groceries. It was a struggle. Dave and the girls had returned home by the time I got back. I had another crumpet and cup of tea and went back to bed for about 2 hours. By the time I got up it was 3:30 and we had friends coming round for tea to celebrate Dave's birthday at about 5. I did a bit of tidying up, shuffling about the place like an old lady in my slippers. Dave prepared almost all the stuff for his own birthday. It's not the way I planned it. I did make lemon delicious though and it was delicious. I started to get a bit more energy toward the end of the night, but it wasn't much.

I was a bit shocked and annoyed by it. I had sort of come to accept that every now and then I'm going to feel wiped out in the evening. What I had not factored in was waking up feeling like I'd been run over by a truck. I know there's supposed to be fatigue and that it can come and go for a year, or maybe even longer, but it's dumb and I'm feeling pretty cranky about it. I just don't understand enough about it. Sure it's repair, sure it's recovery, I've been through a lot, the body's been hammered......yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't had chemo since May. What's going on in there now that requires a system shut down on a random Saturday without notice? ETSA deliver fluro orange slips when they're planning to cut the power - where's my notification, body? You're letting me down.

Despite my crappy conglomeration of bones, skin, muscle, hair (now) and other cellular matter bailing on me for the day, Dave and I (and the girls for a shorter time before bed) enjoyed a lovely evening with six good friends (and one new baby).

I was better yesterday though and fairly normal again today so I don't know what the story is. I've delayed my lung function test a couple of weeks because if I had it tomorrow I'm not sure the results would be a fair picture. I know my lung function isn't the best at the moment - I've got a cold. I made a time for Monday 27th September.

I do have my PET scan in three sleeps though but even better than that, once I have had my tasty barium solution to drink, had radioactive glucose injected into me and been through the scanner I'll get to go to the Powderfinger concert. I am looking forward to it quite a bit. It's been coming for a while and now it's really close. I don't want to build it up too much for fear of being disappointed and I am also afraid that the weather may not be favourable and it will be canned. I will be less than impressed if that happens.