Deflating cheeks, hair and Eeyore

I think my cheeks are deflating a little, at least the ones on my face seem a bit smaller. I am hoping it is due to both the lack of steroids in my system and the extra exercise I have been doing. Last week I made it to the gym three times and also did a long walk from home. I didn't feel too tired from it all either. This week I have managed two visits so far. It feels really good to be getting back into things and slowly but surely getting my fitness back. As for the food, I have been trying to consume fewer calories but I don't always succeed. I have gone back to calorie king (calorieking.com.au) to help record how I'm tracking and to know how many calories I have consumed and how many I have burnt. It's free and quite handy.

My hair is growing back, which is good on my head and not so great everywhere else. It has been good not having to worry about leg hairs during the summer. Now my legs are itchy as the hairs grow back and they are also dry because I'm not on the roids any more. That was perhaps the one bonus of those crappy prednisolone pills - they cleared up my skin. I'm not quite sure what colour my head hair will be but it looks a bit pale at the moment. Maesie has suggested that perhaps it will be pink when it comes back. Luckily, it seems that won't be the case.

I haven't really been thinking about my scan results much but I think I am preparing myself for the worst. I am often pessimistic and have been referred to as Eeyore at times and this is another example of that. I am not convinced that my PET scan will come back showing no activity. I think I will have to have another scan further down the track. And I think that one will show activity too and that I will have to have a biopsy. I think I will have to have radiation or a stem cell transplant too. I will be quite happy to be wrong and I don't feel like this is a case of 'if you think it, it will happen' and I don't feel negative about it. I guess it's a defense mechanism and that's ok. I'll just take each part as it comes and in the meantime I will attempt to live life as fully as I can and continue to trust in the Lord. My life is His anyway so He'll work it out and I just have to hold tight for the ride.

In some crazy way, a stem cell transplant would be quite interesting. I'm fairly sure it would suck big time and I'd rather not do it, but it would be fascinating.