Lavatory thoughts, tears and tights

On Monday I went for a blood test. I went to the IMVS collection place at 'The Avenues' at Stepney. I thought "It won't be too busy, I'll just pop in there on my way to work". I thought wrong. I waited for about 50 minutes before it was my turn. I think I heard the complete CD that was playing - some guy I'd never heard of (I asked the nurse about it while she was trying to jab me) who sounded a bit Bob Dylan-ish and sang in about 5 different languages. I did a little people-watching and my favourite was a young lady (maybe she was 18?) who came in with her mum (I assume) and went to the lavatory. When she came out, her skirt - which was above the knee and made from a fabric suited more to the summer months - was partially tucked into her skin-coloured nylon tights, showing her beige briefs to the waiting room. Her mother didn't notice because it was on the opposite side from her so she didn't say anything. Neither did I. I wasn't sure how to go about it. Call out across the room "Hey lady, your skirt's stuck in your tights"? Walk across the room and have a quiet word? Awkward either way. So I am left wondering if and how she ever found out and how long she spent showing the world her underpants. Silly lady for wearing unseasonal fabric, for not being aware of a cold breeze on her upper thigh and for not checking her skirt was down before she left the cubicle. Even I, of limited skirt wearing experience, know that the final check is crucial.

I was quite surly from Sunday to Tuesday this week. I should have typed this yesterday when I still had the grumps because then it would have really been a 'from the heart' whinge. Today I feel better so there's not much to say about it. I did realise there was most likely a hormonal influence, which always tends to amplify troubles. I have been down and depressed and a bit teary - a few tears on Monday night, a few in the lav at work yesterday (most unglamorous, I know, but I am hardly known for glamour). Don't all get in a flap - I don't think there's much to be concerned about. It mainly all comes from lots of thoughts still in my head and not being able to do much about many of them. Things I want to do, things that are stopping me doing stuff, thoughts about 'survivorship' and whether or not all this psychological junk I have to wade through is what they talk about. Everyone's got those kind of thoughts wandering round in their heads though, haven't they? Could do this, want to do that, can't do that yet, missed my opportunity for that, glad I had kids, pity I've got kids, should have traveled, wish I could...... I guess it's all a bit amplified for me at the moment though because I had a kick up the arse to highlight the fact that I don't really know how long I've got to do stuff on this planet.

Whilst on the lav in Halls Gap I did have a little realisation. I guess I knew it anyway, but for some reason it was made clearer to me. My purpose during my years on Earth, I believe, is to bring glory to God. This can be done in many and varied ways but it kind of helps to test my other thoughts/wants/dreams against this to see if they fit. I struggle though to find the time/make the time to sit down and work it all out. I feel like I need a week in some secluded hut in the middle of no-where with a delightful wood fire, plenty of tea and biscuits and splendid scenery just to sit down and write stuff and think and make lists and sort it all out. But I can't do that because I'd feel terribly selfish and guilty, plus I might never want to come back. I'll just have to settle for 5 minutes here and there surrounded by junk and weeds at Gum Crescent.