Farewell, brown hoodie

I realised the other day that I have neglected to mention that while we were in the Grampians I attempted to put on my favourite daggy old brown hoodie and the zipper snapped in half and fell off. The zipper already had a paper clip on it to pull it up and down because the original one broke a couple of years ago but to have the whole zip just fall off was a bit disturbing. I think I'd had the jacket for more than four years. I got it while I was pregnant with Maesie I think, with the thought that it might fit around my growing guts. It had a fairly good life. I wore it a great deal, probably too much really as it was not attractive. Very comfy though. The ribbing on the cuffs had quite a few holes and it's probably time to say goodbye. I just had a thought - maybe I could sew it together down the front and just put it on like a jumper? There's life in the old girl yet.

Last weekend was good - gym on Saturday morning, a 3 y.o. birthday party in the afternoon followed by the Trinity College Foundation Dinner in the city. I was pretty tired by the end of the day but I was ok. The girls stayed with grandma and grandpa after the party and had a sleepover so we went to pick them up after church on Sunday. It was nice to go to church without them. So easy and no distractions.

On Tuesday this week, August 3, I combed my hair for the first time. I'm not sure why I haven't before now and I'm not sure why I did on that day in particular but I feel it is a significant moment. I have enough hair to run a comb through. It's weird now to think that not so long ago I didn't have any hair. I see photos of myself without hair and it's strange. It's just a memory now and one that is already fading. How can that be? How can chemo be such a fading memory so quickly? It seems that way for me at least - maybe it's not so quickly forgotten by those around me.

On Wednesday this week our oldest nephew came round for some tutoring. He goes to the school where Dave works so came home with Dave after work and stayed the night. We got through a bit of work and it was nice to have him around. I think we're going to try catching up most Wednesdays to help him get through a bit of work.

Last night (Thursday) Dave and I went to the opening night of the College musical, 'Guys and Dolls'. I haven't been to a school musical for quite a while and I wasn't quite sure how it would be. It was quite good. Fairly enjoyable. A few blips to iron out. I was hobbling around a bit and had some trouble with the stairs. I felt like if anyone saw me leaning heavily on the rail and Dave and knew anything about the past few months they might have thought 'Poor Beth, look at her struggling along'. The truth is that I did City to Bay training at the gym on Wednesday and did loads of step-ups, squats and lunges and killed my legs (again). It was good to see friends and colleagues and a few teachers I haven't seen for a while too. We've been doing quite a few things with the good old Trinity College lately and although it's a bit corny, we're both happy to be part of the community. I guess the place should be of some significance to us both as it's where we met. Ohhhhhh, shucks.

The last thing of note today is that it is my birthday. It has been a good day for the following reasons:
1. Elsie did not wake up during the night. She woke up around 6:40 when Dave got in the shower. I had a good sleep and woke up feeling good. (Maesie didn't wake through the night either)
2. The girls woke up in a good mood.
3. I got some nice pressies.
4. I went to Starplex. I wasn't in too much of a rush, there were carparks, I got into RPM and the teacher was one of my favourites.
5. I baked a delicious chocolate cake.
6. I ate some of the delicious chocolate cake.
7. David wrote me a lovely note/letter.
8. David made a delicious dinner.
9. We watched a movie (without being interrupted by the children).
10. I got a few jobs done.

Tomorrow it is no longer my birthday so I expect the girls to wake up again and everything will be as it was before..... It's been nice to have such a lovely day though.

I did have the thought today in the shower, that although things are going along well and I feel okay and can do most things I used to and I am getting back to life as it was before, I haven't had the next scan yet. I don't have the all clear. I have the almost all clear, but that's not the same. I could go in at the end of September and have everything go pear shaped again because there's still active disease. I'm not home and hosed. Even then, I'm sort of not sure I'll believe it if they say I'm okay. This cancer stuff sure messes with your head - inside and out.

Other random things of note:

• We have picked 3 snow peas off our vine/bush/plant out the back. They have been delicious. There would have been more but we didn't make enough of a frame for them to climb up and some of the ends snapped off.
• I have lost about 1.5 kilos. It's a start I guess but it's slow going.