Poison running through my veins

Starting tomorrow I will be heading to the RAH to receive nasty chemicals in order to kill the cancer cells. Pity it'll wreak havoc on all sorts of other cells inside me. Usually if someone ingests poison you have to ring the helpline and go to the hospital so they can remove or reduce the effects of said poison. This will be the opposite. I will rock up tomorrow feeling fairly well and they will dose me up with a range of 'medicine' and likely feel ill once its done. At the moment I am set to receive 5 goodies tomorrow - doxorubicin, cyclophosphamide, etoposide, procarbazine and prednisolone.

In order to understand the artillery, I have dug out my pharmacology book from a box in the shed. You know those enzymes I mentioned a while back? Well, doxorubicin prevents one particular enzyme (topoisomerase II) from doing its job. Usually this enzyme helps the replicating DNA to swivel so it doesn't get tangled. Doxorubicin stuffs up the swivel and seizes up the cell replication. Voila, dead cancer cells. Brilliant. Pity dear old doxo can't tell the difference between cancer cells and every other cell that might be dividing at the time. This one has the unwanted effects of nausea and vomitting, hair loss and myelosuppression. Great.

Cyclophosphamide is a nitrogen mustard and is related to 'mustard gas' used during the War. This just gets better. This one has a pronounced effect on lymphocytes. Good, its the lymphocytes causing all the problems.

More about these another time.

As for me, I am mostly going okay. I have been a little upset today because its all a bit real and this treatment is going to mean that my troubles impact the lives of others and I don't like to be a bother. Now before you all comment to say I'm not a bother, part of me does know this to be true and that people are happy to help because they love and care for me, Dave and the girls. I do know this. If it were any of my friends or family I would do the same. But another part of me thinks its just a terrible inconvenience for all involved. And I suppose it is, but I guess I can't decide who chooses to be involved and that's not my problem to deal with.